I have been thinking about potty-training Kelcey for a little while now, and I even tried it for a couple of days in the middle of October. However, after 2 days of nothing but accidents in her underwear (both wet and poop), I just didn't have the fortitude to continue. Unfortunately, it was also just before our Disney World trip, so the timing wasn't that great.
Also, Kelcey would get so upset whenever she had an accident, just sobbing about it, but she didn't seem to make the connection between the feeling she had before she wet her pants and needing to go the bathroom. She just seemed so shocked that she had this problem. :o) I just didn't have the heart to continue, it was so hard on both of us. So, long story short (too late!), I decided to wait until November, after our trip, after Halloween, and after the Primary Program (a very stressful time for me), with plenty of time to perfect it before we go to Utah for Christmas.
Annnyyyyway, this morning was D-day. (Or would that be P-day?) I kept her in her sleeper until we got home from dropping Jarom and Taran off at school, and then made a big deal of getting out her "big-girl" underwear (with Elmo on it, no less!), and having her get dressed, but with out any pants. I have learned that much from potty-training my other two. :o) She seemed excited about it, especially when I told her that she could have as much chocolate milk as she wanted.
But to my absolute surprise, when I said, "Let's try to go potty in the toilet before we go downstairs," she started yelling and crying, and refused to sit on the toilet! Completely refused. She was even wriggling and fighting; I couldn't keep her down on the seat! She had never acted that way before about the toilet. She had even been really excited when I showed her the small toilet seat we have that goes over the big one, so she can't fall through. I talked to her and said, "Well, if you're going to wear big- girl underwear, then you have to go potty on the toilet." She yelled that she didn't want to, so then I said, "Ok, if you don't want to go potty in the toilet, then you need to wear diapers." (I'm ashamed to admit that I even said, "like a baby") Well, she was completely adamant about not sitting on the toilet, and she decided that she would rather wear diapers! So I put her in a diaper, finished getting her dressed, and sent her downstairs.
I have a personal policy of never pushing potty-training, because I don't believe in a power struggle about this particular issue, and I do believe that if it is too much stress, then it's just not worth it. Plus, I don't really think that it will work unless the kid wants to do it. I have waited longer with my other kids, Jarom after he turned 3 1/2, and Taran just after she turned 3. Anyway, I'm sure that some people think I waited too long, but I think that it was more successful because I waited until they were ready, not when I was. I also don't think that the promise of only one child in diapers (the new baby) is enough to force Kelcey into something that she doesn't really want to do.
However, since her reaction was so out of the ordinary, should I try again? Or since she was so decided about not wanting to, should I take her at her word? I am inclined to wait until she really wants to do it on her own. But (confession time) I was really looking forward to impressing my mom at Christmas time with our accomplishment, because my mom is of the "old school," that believes that kids should be toilet trained by age two, and that you're just being weak if you wait until 3-ish, like I have. Sigh. . .
Any suggestions from those of you who have been through this more than I have? Because even though I have potty-trained my other two kids, there's something about this process that I find to be completely overwhelming, and makes me feel like I'm either a novice, or an idiot, or both. Well, I probably shouldn't worry too much about it. It's a cinch that she will be potty trained before she goes to school, and that's really the only hard deadline. :o) I just feel so dumb about this!
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I completely understand the desire to impress Mom with X (X being whatever it is that she thinks is good that we like the idea of but realize isn't necessarily the right thing for us) and when I read the part in the beginning where you mentioned having her potty-trained by Christmas, impressing Mom was the first thing that came to mind.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, though, so what if your kids have been slower at it than you and I were? Kelcey is a sweet and sorta stubborn kid - if she's throwing a fit like that, I'd tend to think it's because she really just doesn't want to and/or isn't ready, and you're better off not pushing it. She's been ahead of the other two in other things; I suspect she'll want to catch up on this. Maybe help her see how cool Taran is when she uses the potty? Whatever you do, I say don't push or force the issue. She's smart - just relax about it.
Hey Katie,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Susannah, don't stress about it. You might want to put her on in the morning when Taren goes but then put her in a diaper and don't get upset if she only sits on it for a few minutes with no "production". A friend of mine did this with a particularly stubborn child and it worked as soon as it became her little girls idea. So to recap- Introduce her to the potty when Taren goes and then wait for her to want to go.
Some people are opposed to the family potty training, but I think it helps get the message across and shows her that it is not scary. Good luck, Emily